


Occult and Devine

by lilolilyrae



Category: Good Omens (TV), Humans are Weird (tumblr)
Genre: AU, M/M, stabby the roomba - Freeform, this is basically a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-28 18:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19817908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Humans are weird- and so are angels and demons, in the opinion of a little vacuuming roomba.





	Occult and Devine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Juliette_tango](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliette_tango/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Roombas are Weird](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19788166) by [lilolilyrae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae). 



> 2019-07-17  
> Prompt Fill: Juliette_tango asked for the roomba's POV. Idk whether this is what you had in mind, but I hope you enjoy it either way!

_Roomba_ is a roomba. It is vaguely aware of this fact, but it doesn't understand what it means or what else it could be, and it doesn't matter- after all, it is just a roomba. Its purpose is not thinking but cleaning a flat: fallen angel and more-or-less-ex demon Crowley's flat, to be precise.

This fact is important, not just for the sake of this story, but also to understand why the little roomba is self-aware at all. This is not the natural state of a robot, after all, at least one without a built-in artificial intelligence. You must know that around the demon, everything gets sentient rather sooner than later, from plants over electronics to completely inanimate objects.

Roomba doesn't know this. Crowley’s flat is Roomba's entire world, and without a reference group, it's the new normal for the little robot.

What is not normal, even to Roomba, however, is the way the demon acts towards certain people. And the way it affects Roomba's feelings for them.

You must also know that Roomba doesn't really like Crowley. It doesn't know why, it is barely aware of the fact that it has always been this way. It doesn't like Crowley, and therefore, doesn't care when Crowley is in the way, just bumps into him until he moves. 

Given that Crowley is the first and for a while only person Roomba knows, it is under the impression that it just dislikes people.

It does, however, like Aziraphale as soon as the angel steps through the door of the apartment. 

This confuses Roomba entirely. 

It wants the angel's attention- not that it knows what an angel is- wants to be petted, to be told it is doing good- where is this _coming_ from?! 

And after getting over the initial shock, Roomba notices that it is even less hostile towards its owner while Aziraphale is around. Huh. Maybe Crowley isn't so bad? 

But then, the next morning, with Aziraphale gone, when Crowley stumbles out of bed with a grouchy expression on his face, Roomba promptly feels the urge to drive into his shins again. _Aaah, yes_ , The roomba thinks when Crowley jumps up and down, clutching his left foot. _Still got it._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, let me know! 
> 
> I didn't know what else to write or how to get it to 666 words, but as it's just roomba-centric I thought it doesn't necessarily have to be part of the series anyway xD
> 
> Edit 2020-02-04  
> After yalls shouted at me for so long, you won and there's a [follow up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22271932) and [another follow up](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22560964)!


End file.
